June 24th | Putting Life on Hold

I screwed up a couple of things in my life, emotionally, as many of us do; I didn't necessarily damage things or physically harm people, but I did hurt some close friends profoundly: and souls scars are the ones that take longer to heal, if at all. Tongue (my tongue) can be more harmful than a fist.

Additionally, I’ve worked 24/7 for about 8years of my life and no, I didn’t get paid more for this, at all 😅.

As of now, I know why all of above happened and I feel ashamed every single second. Unfortunately, as I often say: “we cannot change the past, but I can only work for a better future”, building on the Lion King's scene of Rafiki, and this is what I started doing 1.5year ago: I started focusing on myself, on my emotions, my feelings, my balance with work, my life, my connections, my relationships. Among the many things, I’ve learnt in this journey:

• ikigai: a reason for being
• the opposite of depression is connection
• finding purpose in life may require efforts and intent and intention
• You can build 40% of your Happiness
• Dedicating your full time to work may help your paycheck, but would destroy your soul
• it's absolutely possible to lose weight by just walking daily, drink water, eat healthy food

I feel energized and empowered now, I feel more connected to the world, however there was still something missing. I wanted to find that connection with nature that living in a big US city, in the nowadays digitalized world, was somehow still missing, hence I decided to put life on hold: I took 3 months off from work.

As a teenager, I’ve always wanted to be an archaeologist, working on the most mysterious things Mother Earth hides for us, to try to understand more, to discover, to answer to questions. This idea of the "sabbatical" started as a joke at the beginning of 202, but then Covid-19 happened, so it could not be pursued.

2020 and 2021 brought us a lot of craziness. Despite that, I was able to start the focus-on-myself journey, entailing:

• Losing 115 lbs (52+ kg)
• Adopting a more active vs sedentary lifestyle
• Eating healthier
• Working 9am-5pm, unless some exceptions
• Re-finding connections with friends and family
• Keeping traveling whereas possible, despite people jinxing on my bravery during the pandemic
• Listening to all kind of news, but limiting the mainstream ones, often cause of infodemic. 

Living a happier life was possible and I was embracing it. I felt happy despite some psychological scars I caused to others and to myself. And then time came to think again about that trip. So, I took 3 months off from work in the worst moment modern Humanity has been living, but I needed to do it, I owed this to my mental sanity. It took a while to organize, to explore all the restrictions and to build around that archaeological dig I’ve always wanted to do.

I am out of pocket from June 28 to October 4 2021, time when I will be back to my workplace, in San Francisco. I left my apartment and put everything in a storage as I don’t want to be tied to anything at the moment. I disconnected anything work-related from my phone: I love my job and my company, but this time should be for me and for anyone else.

As of July 1st, moment I am writing this, I still need to figure out September activities, but as of now, this is the schedule:

1. Stop 1: Philadelphia, hosted by Olga
2. Stop 2: Volunteering in Galapagos Islands (San Cristóbal)
3. Stop 3: Archaeologic Dig in Israel (Tell El-Safi), with Professor Aren
4. Stop 4: Shamanic Retreat in Portugal (Algarve)
5. Stop 5: Kite Surfing in Canary Islands (Costa Calma, Fuerteventura)
6. Stop 6: Visiting Morocco (Intrepid Travel)
7. Stop 7: Going back to my roots to visit family and attend at 2 weddings
8. Stop 7+: not planned (as of June 24th, 2021)

Being intentional is what makes me feel real and attached to the world: let’s see what’s ahead of me, now, in the global pandemic! I still feel pumped (and my nose may feel sore for all the PCR tests).